So Josh is really high right now and I said “we need to buy a two hose hookah” and he thought I said “shoot the flamingos out of the bazooka” and laughed for like 10 minutes.
If I was a stripper I would feel overwhelming excitement over new, crisp, freshly printed singles being slipped ever so slowly into my undergarments.
its dead week
my sister has given up on being an english major and has decided to be a full time burrito
she was quoted saying “burritos don’t have to write lesson plans”
i’ve decided to join her
burritos don’t have to take tests
Are those…actual burritos you’re burritoing next to?
those are taquitos
those are our children
why are you having children with your sister
This is beautiful.
TODAY IN BIOLOGY CLASS WE LEARNED THAT WHEN YOU MOW THE GRASS THE BLADES RELEASE A CHEMICAL THAT MAKES THAT GLORIOUS SMELL BUT THE REASON WHY THEY RELEASE THE CHEMICAL IS TO WARN OTHER GRASS BLADES OF DANGER SO WHEN WE SMELL THE FRESHLY CUT GRASS SMELL IT’S NOT JUST A GOOD SMELL IT’S THE SMELL OF THE BLOOD AND SCREAMS FOR HELP OF THOUSANDS OF GRASS BLADES
ok they going to warn the grass and then what ? explain how the other grass will run away from the lawmower ?
18-19 are good ages because even though you’re technically an adult you’re also technically still a teenager too. you can still blend in and be like. greetings, fellow teens. what’s up. what’s shaking. what’s the word